Jokes 1

For my grandpa, who loved puns:

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's alright now.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

A new type of broom has been developed, and it's sweeping the nation.

I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

I went to a wedding last weekend where a radio married a television. The ceremony was alright, but the reception was excellent.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.

I used to operate an origami store, but it folded.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.